My Solace

Mickey Mouse was always, I guess you could call my solace.

When I was young the joyful laugh of the cartooned mouse and the music of the show was the only thing that blocked out my parents fighting.  My mother didn't like me to see them fight so she would send me to my room.  When I was around eight is when she put the TV in there, with the hopes I wouldn't hear more than I had to.

That's when I first started watching the show.  My parents fights weren't anything like the Cade's, a family that lived in the neighborhood.  But they got bad sometimes.

There was just something about the Mouse that captivated me and drew me in.

Years later when my mom told me I was going to have a little brother or sister, Mickey was still there.  Sure it wasn't like I didn't want to have a sibling, but it seemed like I wasn't going to get the same amount of attention.

In a way I was right, since a few weeks before my mother went into labor, my dad just up and left in the middle of the night.

My mom delivered a healthy baby girl and we were a, slightly broken, family.

I tried to help my mom the best I could, but most of the time just ended up getting in her way.  She never scolded me and apologized when she would snap at me for no reason.  About seven months after my sister was born is when I found out she liked the cartoon Mouse as well.

My mother was exhausted and the baby was sleeping, so I told her to go and take a nap as well.  She was a little worried, but I told her I could handle things.

It wasn't even twenty minutes into her nap that the baby woke up.  She didn't start crying right away, but there were whimpers.  I picked her up and tried rocking her, the way my mother did, but it didn't seem to help anything.

Then the starting tune of Mickey came on.  Her eyes kind of flickered to the screen and watched it, near mesmerized.

After that, it wasn't hard to keep her entertained as long as Mickey was on.

Even now, that I'm nearly nineteen, the Mouse is still that solace to me since he helped me through so many troubled times.

Now one would think that a drunk greaser like me wouldn't even know a word like solace.

But the youngest member of our gang, he's real smart and knows things like that.

And he helped me define and come up with that Mickey is my solace for a school assignment.

The rest of the gang thinks Ponyboy is real smart too.  Near almost to a fault.

There are times though I think he's dumb.

Not when he doesn't use his head and gets jumped by the Soc's.  It's not when he forgets things.

Nothing like that.

It's the fact he fell in love with me.

The gang wasn't all that thrilled when they found out about us, but they cooled down after a while.  Dally still has to poke fun at Pony every once and a while, but its all in good fun.

Lying with him wrapped in my arms at night, I can't help but to think of the impact he has on my life.

For the longest time Mickey was my only solace and that was ok with me.

Realistically thinking though, any day the Mouse could be pulled off the air.

Years ago that would have scared me thinking that my only solace would be gone. Now however there was something I realized.

I always had another solace.

And now, he's the love of my life and the one I want to be with forever.

Although, I think he always kinda was.  Even if it took me awhile to see it.